You Are A Gentleman

You do not use lame come ons, whistles, or raise your voice. You use sincerity, honesty, and pleasantries.

You always return texts, emails, phone calls, smoke signals, etc. Even if you don't like her anymore, that's no cause for incivility and rudeness.

Have good shampoo on hand in case she spends the night. And offer her non-guy-smelling soap.

On your life, never ever get it in her hair. In the event you do, apologize profusely and offer her the good shampoo.

You know the definition of charm. And you look it up on Wikipedia to remind yourself if you do forget.

When dealing with women, you always, always, always have chocolate on hand. Having this life saver around will save you many headaches and much heartache. When she's upset, give her chocolate. Be her hero.

You know that being a gentleman goes beyond opening doors and holding chairs.

You understand that men are like dogs and women are like cats. Pay attention, pet her until she purrs. Or you'll find your pillows ripped to shreds.

You are civil to all women all the time. Even when you don't want to. This is what separates you from the wildebeests.

You are a red hot Ferrari. She is a stately Rolls Royce. Take. Your. Time. In all my life I've never heard a woman complain he went too slow.

To engage her, you ask her for her opinion.

You leave the toilet seat down. This is one of the cheapest and easiest ways to show that you're thinking of her. It also sets you apart from all the other beasts out there. 

You know that checking on things that go 'bump' in the night gets you more points than putting the toilet seat down. It might even get you nookie. Again. 

You do not make fun of her when she goes to the powder room with the girls. This is in your benefit because some opportunistic mac daddy cannot approach her.

You are generous with compliments.

You emote!

You are presentable. Do not look like an unmade bed, even if your bed is unmade.

You know how to poke fun at yourself. And you do it often. 

Your ego is not bigger than you. And you always make sure there is room in there for a lovely woman between you and your ego.

You are not a manwhore. You are a ladies man. Know the difference.

Numbers are the bastions of sluts. A gentleman does not keep count.

Keep the woman who makes your bed. At least for a while.

Man created the wheel, cars, planes, bridges, space ships, and landed on the moon. Yet at least 45% (30% US) of women have never experienced an orgasm. As a gentleman, you must remember this.

A gentleman goes up the stairs second, down the stairs first. Up second, down first. Remember.

A gentleman walks on the outside of the sidewalk.

You watch her shoes and notice where they are pointed towards. That is where her interest lies.

If her arms are crossed, she's either cold or you've put her on guard.

You never ever let a woman carry heavy things. Be it your woman, your neighbor, or a stranger passing on by. Let others be fools who stand around and stare and do nothing, but you are not a fool.

If she's on guard, solicit her opinion on something thoughtful.

A ladies man keeps around a blow dryer. You can be even slicker by giving some excuse like you use it to dry the epoxy on your surf board.

Never ever approach a woman from the back. It puts her on guard.

Pheromones are your very best friends. The more skin contact you have, the more pheromones are produced.

Sure a man can get a woman... after she okays it. But can he keep her? Women pick the man (75%), the man then picks her up (75%). Relationship ensues. She ends the relationship (75%). A gentleman knows the failure rate of keeping a woman happy is very high. Sometimes, it's not worth it. 

You do not hog the covers, lest you end up sleeping alone.

You thank her for her company and for her time. Especially if you never want to see her again. The last parting should be as pleasant as possible. 

If she gives you the congé, take it as quickly as possible and go. Partings may be such sweet sorrow, but think not of the luscious arms you are leaving forever but the ravenous darlings you could possibly be running to later on in life. 

But of course, you are a gentleman. You already know all of this :)